Leading From Presence: Three Keys
The other day, I pulled up to my office and realized that I was so focused on an idea that I didn’t remember driving to the office. I was on autopilot. I’ll contrast that with this moment – I am fully aware of what I am feeling – energized to write this post and feel some excitement about it, my legs are sore, I overdid it running this morning, and I am thinking, “I am wondering how people will engage this blogpost.”
My first experience was unconscious – I was zoned out, not fully conscious to my present experience. Here, as I write, I am conscious of my whole self – head (thoughts), heart (feelings), and body (what I experience in my body). I am present (at least for now.)
Leading from presence (the concepts and ideas behind Conscious Leadership) is about learning to lead from presence and not autopilot. While there are lots of different ideas and concepts I could go into, I want to give three core ideas about leading from presence.
First, self-awareness.
At any time, I can pause and say – I am open and curious, or I am closed and defensive. (You can see a great video about that here on the Conscious Leadership Group website.) But I can pause at any moment in the day and locate thoughts, feelings, and physical experiences. So often we are going through the day, and we are carrying stuff from the morning – traffic, a spat with kids or a partner, an interaction with a colleague that didn’t go how we wanted it to, or we are experiencing stress in our bodies that is affecting our pulse or our breathing and we are not realizing it. And then, some event happens, some email arrives in our inbox, and our “lizard-brain” responds – we are reacting on auto-pilot. Leading from presence is regularly checking in with our heads, our hearts and our bodies for self-awareness.
A second key to leading from presence is curiosity that leads to learning and growth.
I become curious about what’s going on within myself and others, and I let go of being right so I can learn about what is going on. What information do they have that I don’t that they would choose that action or response? Or when I get into conflict with someone, I will get aware, and then I get curious – what is at threat for me when they say those things? Leading from presence is about curiosity over rightness, which leads to growth and learning – expanding our realization of reality.
A third key is owning our response to stimuli.
This is what Conscious Leadership calls “100%, no more no less, responsibility” for our experience. This means that we are not at the effect of outward circumstances, people, or things, and when I am, I can pause and choose to shift. For instance, it's been really hot and humid here in Richmond – I could go outside and say, oh it's hot and humid today, it's going to be a bad day. If I do that, I am at the effect of the weather. It's the same with our relationships – we allow ourselves to be at the effect of the attitudes of our partners, kids, and co-workers.
And here’s where it all comes together—it's not that I won’t ever be at the effect by things. It's being self-aware of when I am, getting curious about what’s going with me and others, and then taking agency or 100% responsibility for my experience and deciding/choosing whether or not I want to shift my experience.
This is a journey and a practice that will transform your leadership and your teams. If you are interested in learning more, we have two more workshops coming up this year where you can learn principles and tools to strengthen your leadership and help your teams. For more information, go here.