The Power of a "Whole Body Yes": Creating Better Agreements at Work

We've all been there: sitting in a meeting when someone asks, "Are we all committed to this?" Everyone nods yes, but inside, you're thinking, "absolutely not." Or maybe you've asked someone to do something, they agreed, but their actions told a completely different story.

When our words say "yes" but our hearts say "no," we're setting ourselves up for workplace drama.

Why Obligation Creates Toxic Patterns

When we work from obligation rather than genuine agreement, a predictable pattern emerges:

1. First comes resentment.
   "I can't believe they want me to do that on top of everything else!"

2. Stay in resentment long enough, and it transforms into entitlement.
   "Well, I did that thing I didn't want to do, so now I deserve..."

3. This cycle breeds passive-aggressive behavior.
   "Sure, I'll do it," but delivered late or with minimal effort. Nobody wins when we operate from obligation.

Enter the "Whole Body Yes"

What if we tried something different? What if we learned to listen for a "whole body yes,” when our inside and outside are completely aligned (head, heart, and gut all saying "yes")?

When you don't feel that alignment, try this approach:

1. Name it honestly: "I don't have a whole-body yes to that request."

2. Suggest what needs to change: "I could get that to you Wednesday instead of tomorrow. Would that work?" or "I see this is important to you — could I move these other deadlines, so I can focus on delivering this by Tuesday?"

This isn't about saying no — it's about creating win-win solutions where everyone feels good about the agreement.

The Benefits Are Powerful

Working toward whole-body yes agreements:

• Creates genuine win-win situations

• Helps us take ownership of our work and experience

• Increases our energy and engagement

• Reduces toxic workplace drama

Important Notes

This approach works best for requests and shared agreements. Some aspects of your job will have firm deadlines or requirements — that's different. If you consistently can't meet all your deadlines, that's a workload or capacity issue that needs addressing.

Also, if your workplace culture isn't used to renegotiating tasks and deadlines, this might feel awkward at first. But once you start approaching work from a place of ownership rather than obligation, you'll be amazed at how your energy and focus transform.

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💡 If you’re curious about going deeper on this subject within workplace culture, check out two Conscious Leadership Opportunities this summer:

• Creating a Conscious Culture: Four Tools

• Becoming a Conscious Leader - Cohort