Pouring In: Why Leaders Have to Invest in Their Own Support and Development
Last week, I attended the Virginia Council of CEOs Spring Retreat and came back feeling inspired and recommitted to my own leadership journey. It's not often that I get to unplug for three full days, but the experience reminded me of something crucial that we as leaders often neglect: we cannot pour from an empty cup.
The Pain and Payoff of Unplugging
I'll be honest - stepping away from emails, client calls, and the day-to-day operations wasn't easy. There's always that nagging voice saying, "But what about that proposal?" or "Did the team handle that client situation?" Pushing through that initial discomfort led to one of the most valuable professional development experiences I've had this year.
The retreat featured some incredible speakers, including negotiations expert Chris Voss, who shared insights about the Cameron and Quinn framework for organizational culture. This framework helps leaders understand their organization's dominant culture type and how it impacts everything from communication to innovation. It was a lightbulb moment that made me reflect on The Spark Mill's own culture and how intentional we need to be about continuing to nurture it. We also heard from Susan Frew, who delivered a fabulous presentation on AI tools for business leaders – one of the most actionable ones I have seen. (And as a bonus for you, she has loads of content online.) -
But the best part was all of the in-between spaces and casual chats and connections.
The Magic of Peer Connection
There's something powerful about being in a room with other CEOs and leaders who understand your challenges. While I'm a big believer in formal development like annual reviews and regular feedback loops, there's simply no substitute for peer connection. Why?
Pointed, Clear Advice: Fellow leaders don't need to dance around issues. They can quickly get to the heart of challenges because they've likely faced similar situations. When Susan asked us our major pain points as CEOs – the same 5 or 6 things popped up around the room regardless of the business type or size.
Safe Vulnerability: With peers, you can admit uncertainties and weaknesses without fear of judgment.his creates a space for authentic growth. I got me to tell my table the part of my business that is driving me crazy without feeling guilty for not having the solution.
Shared Experience: There's comfort in knowing you're not alone in your leadership struggles.
During table discussions, I found myself both giving and receiving advice that cut straight to the core issues we were facing. The perspectives offered weren't theoretical—they came from yesterday and last year real experiences.
Making the Investment Pay Dividends
If you're reading this thinking, "That sounds great, but I just don't have the time," I get it. I had those exact thoughts before committing to the retreat. Scot McRoberts, Executive Director of VaCEOs gave me the advice when I joined to just say yes to everything in the first year and so even though the multi-day event loomed on my calendar I made the space.
Here are some actionable steps for pouring into your own leadership cup:
Schedule Non-Negotiable Development Time: Block your calendar for learning and connection just as you would for important client meetings. Protect this time fiercely.
Find Your Peer Community: Whether it's an organization like VaCEOs, an industry group, or a mastermind, find people who understand your specific role and challenges.
Diversify Your Input: Mix formal learning (books, courses) with peer wisdom and outside speakers. Ya’ll – a good speaker can talk about anything.
Create Reflection Rituals: After any development experience, schedule time to process what you've learned and identify one or two actionable takeaways. Hence my writing this blog!
Teach What You Learn: One of the best ways to solidify new knowledge is to share it with your team – I definitely used AI to transcribe my notes and sent them to Chris Bennett for the two of us to debrief later. This multiplies the impact of your investment.
Bring It Home
What I'm reminded of after last week is that investing in myself isn't selfish—it's necessary. When I'm operating at my best, I bring that energy and knowledge back to my team and clients. Leadership isn't just about giving directions; it's about charting new paths. And to do that effectively, we need to be continuously filling our own buckets of knowledge, inspiration, and connection.
Don’t be surprised if the next time we talk I ask you, Who is your peer group and how are you connecting with them or maybe it is attending a retreat, or simply blocking half a day each month for learning and reflection. Whatever it is, make the commitment.